I'm still standing...

Bean...
"Toots is still in my body and he's being ridiculous. He's a very stubborn little germ thing."

As I'm folding laundry, she starts yelling...
"Hey, Momma, did you know that even kids can use the Swivel Sweeper?!"

"This sweeper has bristles that are strong and delicate enough to pick up hair and dental floss, Momma."

"This guy said the Roomba is effortless cleaning. You can turn it on and walk away - this freaks me out."

Me: Do you need some food, babe? 
"I really want that Santa chocolate, but I don't want my puke to be brown. Can I have a cracker?"

"Please help me spell nutritious... that's the kind of food I want."

"Does Santa still come to my house if I'm sick? I wouldn't want him to catch Toots from me and make everyone at the North Pole sick."

"How do people get nicknames?"

"I need to watch The Lorax since we watches all the Christmas movies. Yes, definitely The Lorax, then Christmas Vacation again. I wish Clark was our neighbor. Or my Uncle."

"I wish I could use this gingerbread soap on my insides, that would wash all the germs. Maybe I'll have some soup."


Brad...
"I want to rip my head off."

"I feel like I have the plague."

"I need some food."

"And tea."

"And crackers."

"I promise to be sympathetic next time you're sick. Why have I been getting sick and it's been almost 2 years since you were?"

"When I stand, I see black."

"I spilled the water, sorry."

"... and there's cracker crumbs in the bed."

I really, really hope your Saturday is better than mine...