Fear.

Along with my fear of sharks, bears, the ocean, extreme heights, crocodiles, scorpions, etc. - spiders are a whole different story.

After living in the south where there are several species of spiders can kill you or cause you to lose a limb with just a single bite, I'm not about to trust any spider that walks or crawls into my living space here in central Pennsylvania. I know it's unfair to let one bad apple ruin the bunch. I know I shouldn't assume they're all horrible, blood thirsty, creepy, crawly, 8 legged versions of the walking dead - but fear makes us irrational beings.

Last night, after having my mind completely blown by TBBT & Elementary season finales, I casually walking into our room and headed towards the bathroom for teeth brushing, etc. I glance towards the light on the bedside table, and there it is, giving me the look of death. This sucker was the size of a quarter, fuzzy body and clinging to the wall like he owns it.
I called for Brad (okay, it was more like a squeal because I seem to lose all control of my vocal cords when frightened), and my hero runs in to save the day. He knows my fear, so he quickly grabs a tissue, removes the spider, crushes him, throws him away and turns to speak to me.

-I should note that this is where his brain obviously disconnected from his mouth because what he said was horrible for my mental state.-

"Wow, he's a big one. Good thing you saw him and called me in because he probably would have crawled into your mouth tonight. Don't we usually eat like 8 spiders in our lifetime? You just got lucky."

I'm completely white and my hands are numb at this point.

Yes, my irrational brain was telling me that the spider eating was a possibility, but I was also worried about it crawling into my ear and laying it's eggs in my brain.

This tale from last night is a perfect example of how men should walk around with tape on their mouths.